Nursery Decoration on a Budget

Let’s be honest, being charged with the task of decorating your child’s nursery is scary enough without having to worry about the costs involved. Most families are living on a tighter budget these days, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still supply your newborn with the nursery that they deserve. Hiring home decorators and buying new baby furniture can come with quite a hefty price tag. With a little creativity however, you can easily decorate your baby’s nursery by yourself for a fraction of the cost and surprisingly little effort.

One of the easiest ways to decorate a nursery is with some homemade or store bought stencils. With stencils, you can add some character to your child’s room without having to resort to expensive wallpaper. Wallpaper can be a real pain, especially if you’re installing it by yourself. By painting with stencils, even a dad with no artistic ability can create great looking wall art on for very little money. Stencils can usually be found at any art supply or crafts store and come in a variety of shapes and designs. Once you have your stencils, practice painting with them on a scrap of wood or drywall. Practice makes perfect and the better your painting skills, the less time and effort it will take to get your nursery walls looking just right.

When decorating your nursery walls you may be tempted to go with more traditional colors like pastels. While these colors are nice and give the room a nice tone, baby’s eyes are underdeveloped for the beginning stages of their lives and they have difficulty distinguishing soft colors. Be bold and paint your nursery with bright and vibrant colors! Not only will it make for a more interesting nursery, but your child will actually be able to see the designs which will make the room more engaging for your son or daughter. Simple tricks like these will help take the pain out of room decoration while also making the most of every last penny.

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My only experience with childbirth was a natural one attended by a midwife. When Renee asked me to go see “The Business of Being Born,” I thought, “I’m already a believer, why do I need to see it?” I’m glad I did. My own personal experience made me a believer. This film strengthened my convictions.

Intrinsically, I knew that a natural childbirth was best, but I wasn’t going to push it. It’s our baby, but her body. Renee would have the final say on this one. She chose a natural childbirth with a midwife and has elected to breastfeed for as long as it’s feasible. I am thrilled at her decision.

Childbirth In the U.S.

I always thought a woman could opt for an un-medicated vaginal birth in the hospital. The OB/GYN was on-hand just in case something went wrong. The film shows you that’s not the case. This is the typical chain of events that will follow after a woman in labor is admitted:

1. An expectant mother is sick of being pregnant. She wants to get this baby out.
2. She asks for an epidural.
3. She’s so zonked out, she can’t push properly
4. Pitocin is administered via IV to induce contractions.
5. The baby isn’t coming out. More pitocin is administered.
6. The contractions are so strong, the baby goes into distress.
7. An emergency C-section becomes necessary.

The United States is supposed to be the most technologically advanced nation in the world yet it has the second highest newborn mortality rate in the developed world.

It seems like everything we do in the United States is backwards. (Don’t get me started on the metric system) According to the statistics quoted in the film:

• 70% of births outside the United States is attended by a midwife. It’s less than 8% in the U.S.
• In 1900, 90% of births in the U.S. were home births.
• In 1938, the number dropped to 50%.
• By 1955, it was less than 1%. It remains that number to this day.

When I did a search for Pitocin on Wikipedia, it takes me straight to the page on ocytocin. In all fairness, pitocin is the synthetic version of ocytocin. Rats. I thought I had uncovered a little conspiracy. However:

• Ocytocin is produced in the brain. Pitocin is administered intravenously.
• Ocytocin has a chance to act on the brain before it’s released into the bloodstream. Pitocin does not.
• Ocytocin enters the bloodstream in surges. Pitocin comes in a steady stream via IV.

The C-Section Factory

I remember in school, during a discussion about childbirth, a student piped up and said he was delivered via C-section. The first thought that popped into my head was, “I always knew there was something a little ‘off’ about this kid. I didn’t realize how commonplace it is.

I understand that a C-section is medically necessary in certain situations. In cases where it’s a high-risk pregnancy (diabetes, multiples, other medical conditions) it’s the only option. There was no way Kate Gosselin could deliver the sextuplets vaginally.

Too Posh to Push

We live in a performance and results oriented society. Natural childbirth offers too much of a margin for some schedules. Celebrity moms, career-track moms, and many others are electing for the “scheduled C.” An even more disturbing trend is the c-section and tummy tuck package deal.

The motivation behind an elective c-section is often fear. Much of what we know is from the media we absorb. In movies and on television, 3-month old babies are cast as newborns. A 3 month old baby is significantly larger than a newborn. A woman might see that “newborn” on TV and think, “no way am I going to push something that big out of me!!!”

The Choice is Ultimately Yours

I’m only qualified to speak to you about this from the father’s point of view. I wasn’t the one whose body would be irreversibly altered by this experience. I wasn’t the one doing the pushing. I wasn’t the one who could opt to be medicated. However, I have made decisions in the past while disregarding an entire set of data that in retrospect would have changed the decision I ultimately made. Those decisions are insignificant next to the birth of my child.

The birth of a child is the most profound experience you will ever have. All of the options available to you are worthy of your due consideration.

Buy “The Business of Being Born” on DVD.

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Last week, Tyler from Building Camelot asked me to contribute to his series on Bringing Home a Second Baby. Tyler and his wife are expecting any day now!

In this multi-part series, you will read all about:

• Helping your first child understand what’s about to happen.
• The first meeting between the two children.
• The first time time you actually bring the baby home.

Follow the link here to read the first installment of the series on Bringing Home a Second Baby.

You will also read some great stories by Chris from DadOfDivas.blogspot.com and Jeff from Daddy’sToolbox.com.

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Photo: mrhayata

Before fatherhood, I used to look at my friend Dan and think, “oh cool. He only has to see his daughter every other weekend and on Wednesday nights.” After fatherhood, I think, “He only gets to see his daughter…”

Whatever the real numbers are, we see more single parents today. In such arrangements, the father’s role runs the gamut from total deadbeat to being as involved as possible.

Fatherhood is being redefined. Men are balancing traditional expectations and taking a more active role in parenting. This is true, even with non-resident fathers. These men have to make the most of their every-other-weekend and one night a week arrangement.

As a resident father, I enjoy the constant presence of my children, annoying teenage habits nonwithstanding. This affords me quantity and quality, but what about non-resident fathers? They too can offer the same, and some additional benefits.

According to Garret D. Evans and Kate Fogarty, non-resident fathers who are involved in their children’s lives still have a positive impact. These children:

• tend to get higher grades than those without involved fathers.
• seem to have better social skills. They can make friends more easily and handle difficult social situations better.
• tend to have fewer behavioral problems. In fact, even when not living with their children and their children’s mother, fathers who were actively involved with their children kept them from getting involved in problem behaviors as teens
• have fewer mental health problems as adults (especially true for daughters).

Fathers today recognize the benefits to their children and to themselves. This is still true for the non-resident father. He may even be more acutely aware of it due to the limited time he has with his children. He needs to make the most of every other weekend and one night a week.

Further Reading:

Dads, Be a Hero

Father Involvement After Divorce

Co-Parenting and Father Involvement

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I’m on break, but it would be wrong if a dad blogger didn’t acknowledge Father’s Day. I have a freelance project that will take up a good part of my time this next week. I don’t want to be wrought with guilt on Thursday when I still haven’t posted. Yes, I’m on break. For real! This is worse than quitting cigarettes.

Father’s Day is a quiet day around here. I decided that instead of being treated like a king, it’s my day to reaffirm and reflect upon what it means to be a father and be the best dad I can be. Today is the day to do what you normally do, but better. Show your family why you’re the best dad ever:

• Call your own father and wish him a Happy Father’s Day.
• Say an extra “I love you” to your spouse and your children.
• Put extra special effort into a meal you prepare for your family. Save the shells ‘n’ cheese for another night.
• Help out around the house.
• Play video games and let your kids win… as if that doesn’t already happen!
• LISTEN to your children.
• Give your children one more hug.
• Laugh with your children.

I received a pleasant surprise yesterday. Chelle from It Might Be Love sent me 250 Entre Card Credits! She won Dance of Motherhood’s Dad Blog contest. Her first act of kindness was to nominate my blog. Then she upped the ante by giving me a share of her winnings. Thanks!

Here’s a shout-out to all the cool dads I’ve met in the blogosphere. I did the same thing for my favorite mom bloggers on Mother’s Day. Not all of these dads write parenting blogs, but each is written by a cool dad:

• Dad Thing
  
• From Mike
• Happy Family Matters
• Frugal Dad
• Metro Dad
• Pro Blogger
• Rice Daddies
• Steve Pavlina
• Strobist
• Surf Jedi’s Musings
• The Busy Dad Blog
• The Wisdom Journal
• TipDad

I’m on break (much of this post was composed a few weeks ago), so posts won’t come as frequently. Subscribing to my RSS feed is the best way to find out when I stop in to say hello again. You can still browse the archives. I left a hidden gem for you to find somewhere on this site.

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Happy Father’s Day!

The usual response was a look of indifference. This is the default smokescreen for adolescent insecurities. What he doesn’t understand is, I’m not here to exploit the insecurities for a cheap ego boost. My goal is to help him overcome them. He doesn’t always like my methods. Depending on the circumstances, I have R. Lee Ermey, Wayne Dyer, Mr. Miyagi, or any combination of the 3 rain down on his ass.

Learning how to read the route map and timetables would address some developmental needs. An understanding of time is one of those needs. I thought I had the perfect package to wrap this lesson in.

The Promise of Autonomy Didn’t Close The Sale?

Adolescence is a time to assert autonomy. I told Au-Teen that riding the bus would empower him. I also reminded him that using public transit is good training for life Europe and Japan. He was quiet at first, then he dismissed the notion with an admission of a deficiency in handling time-sensitive activities. The discussion reverted to subject matter requiring fewer brain cells.

Pushing The Right Buttons

Renee recently heard on the news that oil companies are making record profits. She used this little nugget to egg on our resident conspiracy theorist and anti-establishment advocate.

Renee told him, “you’re $#*@ing the oil companies by doing this.” and that got him interested right away. Further, she also suggested that this empowers him to see his friend T more often. He perked up some more.

Sticking It To The Oil Companies

This past weekend, I accompanied him on the bus to rendezvous with T. I was thrilled to go along. This was such a turnaround from the previous week’s edict of, “I hate the bus! I’m never taking the bus again!”

The difficulty level of this excursion required adult supervision and assistance. The previous weekend, we tried a simple one-bus trip. I would accompany him on the way there, but he would ride back solo. Unfortunately, the return trip required a search and rescue effort after he failed to catch the bus twice. The fool also wore all black on a scorching hot day. I guess forging one’s identity trumps comfort in the South Florida heat.

We caught the bus to Young Circle in Hollywood where we’d catch a connecting bus to the rendezvous point. We had about 20 minutes before our connecting bus would arrive. We used the time to explore The Arts Park before catching the connecting bus to Aventura Mall.

Aventura Mall is a connecting point for Miami-Dade Transit and Broward County Transit. This made it the ideal location to meet. The real reason is, we had about 30 minutes to kill and there’s an Apple Store. They pump some crazy gas into the store that makes you buy stuff. Having a baby is the antidote for it.

The boys see each other from across the room. The music starts…

Reunited and it feels so good
Reunited ’cause we understood
There’s one perfect fit
And, sugar, this one is it
We both are so excited
‘Cause we’re reunited

-Dino Fekaris and Freddie Perren

The return trip went smoothly. T has logged several hours in the Miami-Dade transit system, but Au-Teen is still very green. I will have to take a few more trips with him before I can let him go solo. He’s not the kind of guy you can just toss into the deep end of the pool.

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When I started writing this blog, I somehow knew that a lot of moms would read it. Take a look at the comments here. Many moms stop by.

Au-Teen had a sleepover on Friday night. His best friend T came over. I swear, the two of them are like star-crossed lovers. (I’ll tell you more later. The relationship dynamics between Au-Teen and his friends is entertaining.) T lives 20 miles away in Au-Teen and mom’s old stomping grounds. That might as well be 100 miles to two boys without easy transportation at their disposal. We dropped T off at his house this morning so we could all continue with Mother’s Day plans.

Mom wanted to find a nice place to eat and enjoy being out and about. We indulged her in some window shopping at the Shops at Midtown Miami. Strolling through Target would break down our frugal defenses far too easily. Furniture is not, and should never be, an impulse buy. We were safe at the West Elm showroom.

The Shops at Midtown Miami is yet another micro-mecca of American consumerism. Despite the debt-bloating potential of this place, it’s a great outdoor setting for spending leisure time. If a courtyard has art by Romero Britto, it has some cred with me.

We took advantage of some gorgeous north light in our bedroom to take some photos. Taking photos in front of a large window with sheers is some of the most gorgeous natural light to photograph in. Such a large diffuse light source can make anyone look good. You do not need a fancy camera to get great photos in this setting. With a little help from a Nikon SB600 flash unit, I supplemented the natural light with some diffuse fill light bounced off the ceiling.

Priceless Moment #807,200,730,801,112,873

Sometimes a picture falls 1000 words short of the old proverb. I’m speechless.

Finally, I baked a cake for Renee. The shortest path to her heart is through the pastry section. I called upon some seldom-used skills and baked a cake. Most of my work in the kitchen has more nutritional density, but hey, it’s mom’s special day. GeekMom, are you paying attention? 21st Century Dad can bake cakes too.

This mother’s day tribute cannot be complete without a nod to my own mother. She raised 3 children and ran a business. I have no idea where she stored all the energy in that 5-foot-nothing-90-pounds-soaking-wet body. I think I turned out OK, and so did my sisters. Without moms, none of this would be possible. Happy Mother’s Day.

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Every expectant couple hears, “it goes by so fast.” Sometimes it’s followed by, “take lots of pictures.”

To commemorate the milestone, I used to set up the whole Strobist rig and dress her in a nice outfit. I haven’t done that this month… or last month. The number of photos I take of Twilli is on a downward trend. Maybe I just get a higher percentage of “keepers.”

Our video coverage has been spotty. It will have to step up soon. Twilli is quickly approaching the day she will take her first real steps. Just like we were ready with the “baby bag” during the last month of pregnancy, we must keep a video camera in a high state of readiness.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve neglected my family duty by not taking more photos. I have more digital imaging horsepower at my disposal than most of my peers. Now I realize I’d rather have a few great photos of my children than a bunch of mediocre ones.

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Twilli is incredibly fun to be around right now. As she approaches the 9 month mark, her awakening to the world around her continues at an alarming rate. She is recognizing more within her surroundings. She is using her newfound, albeit limited, mobility at every chance she gets.

I learned a lot just by indulging a little in her. It felt great to spend an extended period of time with my daughter. I have to work a little harder today, but it was worth it.

Regardless of your schedule, make the time to be with your baby. I tell people all the time, “she’ll only be a baby once.”

The quality time I spend with Twilli is a spiritual and emotional boost. How many of you remember the old computer game F15 Strike Eagle? There was a glitch in the game that allowed you to continue flying even though you’ve run out of fuel. Pressing any of the number keys 1-9 and the “A” key (for afterburner) made the engines fire a short puff of propulsion. The smile, a moment of discovery, a squeal of delight as I make a goofy face, or a funny moment is like those little puffs of propulsion that I need just when I think I’m totally out of gas.

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Are you one of those people who likes shiny, brand new things? Get over it! You’re about to have a baby. Some outfits are worn only once or twice as babies grow so rapidly. Clothes still look fresh enough even after several hand-me-down cycles. Maternity clothing only gets a couple months of wear as moms expand into the next size up.

Friends and Family

Once you share the joyous news, anyone with available hand-me-downs will speak up. The easy way out would be to just donate the items, but most people would rather offer their help someone they know. Our friend Barb has a daughter a year older than Twilli. She gave us an entire suitcase full of very cute and stylish clothing.

Thrift Stores

You can’t blog about bargains without mentioning thrift stores. Just about everything you’d need except diapers, wipes, and formula is available here. If the expectant grandparents are around, bring them along. The Goodwill chain of thrift stores here offer discounts to senior citizens. On a recent trip to the thrift store, we found an outfit identical to one Twilli had as a newborn, except this one is her current size.

Freesource and Freecycle

I’ve used Freesource and The Freecycle Network to de-clutter my house. When we learned the joyous news, we knew we had to work the groups for free baby stuff.

In large metropolitan areas, there are several groups that you can join within reasonable distance. Baby items are abundant, offered almost daily. You might also score some items that aren’t posted to the boards when you pick up the item you claimed. We got most of the clothes, bedding, blankets, a bath basin, a bassinet, and some toys.

Craigslist

We got our crib for $40 and changing table for $35. The lady who sold us the changing table also threw in a bunch of other goodies she had lying around. Children grow out of things. They are fickle creatures. Many nearly-new toys and items are sold here too.

The Baby Shower and Gift Registry

My wife and I were overwhelmed at the show of support at our baby shower. We’re socially outgoing and we were able to leverage the relationship equity that we spent years building up. Traditionally, this is a women-only affair, but we elected to have a co-ed baby shower to be more inclusive of all our friends. The friends who could not make it to the big bash and our out-of-town friends also came through. We got to know our UPS driver very well.

We couldn’t have pulled it off ourselves. Our dear friend Shantelle is a party and event planner. Part of her gift to us was to provide her services. Now she has built up a successful business organizing tea parties for young girls. You better believe that in a few years, Twilli will be having a tea party.

Take What You Can Get… You’ll Need It.

The arrival of a child is an exciting time. It’s easy to get carried away and fall into the trap of consumerism. You want the very best for your child, but the very best also means that you, as parents, are financially responsible parents too.

When you announce that you are expecting your first child, everyone you meet, especially people who already have children, become very supportive. You’ll need all the help you can get. Accept it graciously. It takes a village.

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