The good folks at CSNbaby.com offered to provide a guest post. I wrote about preparing for a baby’s arrival on a budget last year. That article was an overview of the monumental task of preparing for a baby’s arrival, which precedes an even more monumental task – preparing the baby. This post speaks specifically about decorating the nursery.

Nursery Decoration on a Budget

Let’s be honest, being charged with the task of decorating your child’s nursery is scary enough without having to worry about the costs involved. Most families are living on a tighter budget these days, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still supply your newborn with the nursery that they deserve. Hiring home decorators and buying new baby furniture can come with quite a hefty price tag. With a little creativity however, you can easily decorate your baby’s nursery by yourself for a fraction of the cost and surprisingly little effort.

One of the easiest ways to decorate a nursery is with some homemade or store bought stencils. With stencils, you can add some character to your child’s room without having to resort to expensive wallpaper. Wallpaper can be a real pain, especially if you’re installing it by yourself. By painting with stencils, even a dad with no artistic ability can create great looking wall art on for very little money. Stencils can usually be found at any art supply or crafts store and come in a variety of shapes and designs. Once you have your stencils, practice painting with them on a scrap of wood or drywall. Practice makes perfect and the better your painting skills, the less time and effort it will take to get your nursery walls looking just right.

When decorating your nursery walls you may be tempted to go with more traditional colors like pastels. While these colors are nice and give the room a nice tone, baby’s eyes are underdeveloped for the beginning stages of their lives and they have difficulty distinguishing soft colors. Be bold and paint your nursery with bright and vibrant colors! Not only will it make for a more interesting nursery, but your child will actually be able to see the designs which will make the room more engaging for your son or daughter. Simple tricks like these will help take the pain out of room decoration while also making the most of every last penny.

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There are 5 expectant couples within my social circle right now. It’s an appropriate time to share my thoughts on this film.

My only experience with childbirth was a natural one attended by a midwife. When Renee asked me to go see “The Business of Being Born,” I thought, “I’m already a believer, why do I need to see it?” I’m glad I did. My own personal experience made me a believer. This film strengthened my convictions.

Intrinsically, I knew that a natural childbirth was best, but I wasn’t going to push it. It’s our baby, but her body. Renee would have the final say on this one. She chose a natural childbirth with a midwife and has elected to breastfeed for as long as it’s feasible. I am thrilled at her decision.

Childbirth In the U.S.

I always thought a woman could opt for an un-medicated vaginal birth in the hospital. The OB/GYN was on-hand just in case something went wrong. The film shows you that’s not the case. This is the typical chain of events that will follow after a woman in labor is admitted:

1. An expectant mother is sick of being pregnant. She wants to get this baby out.
2. She asks for an epidural.
3. She’s so zonked out, she can’t push properly
4. Pitocin is administered via IV to induce contractions.
5. The baby isn’t coming out. More pitocin is administered.
6. The contractions are so strong, the baby goes into distress.
7. An emergency C-section becomes necessary.

The United States is supposed to be the most technologically advanced nation in the world yet it has the second highest newborn mortality rate in the developed world.

It seems like everything we do in the United States is backwards. (Don’t get me started on the metric system) According to the statistics quoted in the film:

• 70% of births outside the United States is attended by a midwife. It’s less than 8% in the U.S.
• In 1900, 90% of births in the U.S. were home births.
• In 1938, the number dropped to 50%.
• By 1955, it was less than 1%. It remains that number to this day.

When I did a search for Pitocin on Wikipedia, it takes me straight to the page on ocytocin. In all fairness, pitocin is the synthetic version of ocytocin. Rats. I thought I had uncovered a little conspiracy. However:

• Ocytocin is produced in the brain. Pitocin is administered intravenously.
• Ocytocin has a chance to act on the brain before it’s released into the bloodstream. Pitocin does not.
• Ocytocin enters the bloodstream in surges. Pitocin comes in a steady stream via IV.

The C-Section Factory

I remember in school, during a discussion about childbirth, a student piped up and said he was delivered via C-section. The first thought that popped into my head was, “I always knew there was something a little ‘off’ about this kid. I didn’t realize how commonplace it is.

I understand that a C-section is medically necessary in certain situations. In cases where it’s a high-risk pregnancy (diabetes, multiples, other medical conditions) it’s the only option. There was no way Kate Gosselin could deliver the sextuplets vaginally.

Too Posh to Push

We live in a performance and results oriented society. Natural childbirth offers too much of a margin for some schedules. Celebrity moms, career-track moms, and many others are electing for the “scheduled C.” An even more disturbing trend is the c-section and tummy tuck package deal.

The motivation behind an elective c-section is often fear. Much of what we know is from the media we absorb. In movies and on television, 3-month old babies are cast as newborns. A 3 month old baby is significantly larger than a newborn. A woman might see that “newborn” on TV and think, “no way am I going to push something that big out of me!!!”

The Choice is Ultimately Yours

I’m only qualified to speak to you about this from the father’s point of view. I wasn’t the one whose body would be irreversibly altered by this experience. I wasn’t the one doing the pushing. I wasn’t the one who could opt to be medicated. However, I have made decisions in the past while disregarding an entire set of data that in retrospect would have changed the decision I ultimately made. Those decisions are insignificant next to the birth of my child.

The birth of a child is the most profound experience you will ever have. All of the options available to you are worthy of your due consideration.

Buy “The Business of Being Born” on DVD.

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I feel like such a blogger. I’m sitting here in a hotel lobby updating my blog. Just finished up a full day of work with a client on-site at their humongous corporate meeting with their people from all over the country. I might as well get some things accomplished here and wait for rush hour traffic to subside.

Last week, Tyler from Building Camelot asked me to contribute to his series on Bringing Home a Second Baby. Tyler and his wife are expecting any day now!

In this multi-part series, you will read all about:

• Helping your first child understand what’s about to happen.
• The first meeting between the two children.
• The first time time you actually bring the baby home.

Follow the link here to read the first installment of the series on Bringing Home a Second Baby.

You will also read some great stories by Chris from DadOfDivas.blogspot.com and Jeff from Daddy’sToolbox.com.

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Photo: mrhayata

Before fatherhood, I used to look at my friend Dan and think, “oh cool. He only has to see his daughter every other weekend and on Wednesday nights.” After fatherhood, I think, “He only gets to see his daughter…”

Whatever the real numbers are, we see more single parents today. In such arrangements, the father’s role runs the gamut from total deadbeat to being as involved as possible.

Fatherhood is being redefined. Men are balancing traditional expectations and taking a more active role in parenting. This is true, even with non-resident fathers. These men have to make the most of their every-other-weekend and one night a week arrangement.

As a resident father, I enjoy the constant presence of my children, annoying teenage habits nonwithstanding. This affords me quantity and quality, but what about non-resident fathers? They too can offer the same, and some additional benefits.

According to Garret D. Evans and Kate Fogarty, non-resident fathers who are involved in their children’s lives still have a positive impact. These children:

• tend to get higher grades than those without involved fathers.
• seem to have better social skills. They can make friends more easily and handle difficult social situations better.
• tend to have fewer behavioral problems. In fact, even when not living with their children and their children’s mother, fathers who were actively involved with their children kept them from getting involved in problem behaviors as teens
• have fewer mental health problems as adults (especially true for daughters).

Fathers today recognize the benefits to their children and to themselves. This is still true for the non-resident father. He may even be more acutely aware of it due to the limited time he has with his children. He needs to make the most of every other weekend and one night a week.

Further Reading:

Dads, Be a Hero

Father Involvement After Divorce

Co-Parenting and Father Involvement

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Due to an oversight on my part, this article was not posted as scheduled on Father’s Day.  -Elliott

I’m on break, but it would be wrong if a dad blogger didn’t acknowledge Father’s Day. I have a freelance project that will take up a good part of my time this next week. I don’t want to be wrought with guilt on Thursday when I still haven’t posted. Yes, I’m on break. For real! This is worse than quitting cigarettes.

Father’s Day is a quiet day around here. I decided that instead of being treated like a king, it’s my day to reaffirm and reflect upon what it means to be a father and be the best dad I can be. Today is the day to do what you normally do, but better. Show your family why you’re the best dad ever:

• Call your own father and wish him a Happy Father’s Day.
• Say an extra “I love you” to your spouse and your children.
• Put extra special effort into a meal you prepare for your family. Save the shells ‘n’ cheese for another night.
• Help out around the house.
• Play video games and let your kids win… as if that doesn’t already happen!
• LISTEN to your children.
• Give your children one more hug.
• Laugh with your children.

I received a pleasant surprise yesterday. Chelle from It Might Be Love sent me 250 Entre Card Credits! She won Dance of Motherhood’s Dad Blog contest. Her first act of kindness was to nominate my blog. Then she upped the ante by giving me a share of her winnings. Thanks!

Here’s a shout-out to all the cool dads I’ve met in the blogosphere. I did the same thing for my favorite mom bloggers on Mother’s Day. Not all of these dads write parenting blogs, but each is written by a cool dad:

• Dad Thing
  
• From Mike
• Happy Family Matters
• Frugal Dad
• Metro Dad
• Pro Blogger
• Rice Daddies
• Steve Pavlina
• Strobist
• Surf Jedi’s Musings
• The Busy Dad Blog
• The Wisdom Journal
• TipDad

I’m on break (much of this post was composed a few weeks ago), so posts won’t come as frequently. Subscribing to my RSS feed is the best way to find out when I stop in to say hello again. You can still browse the archives. I left a hidden gem for you to find somewhere on this site.

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Happy Father’s Day!