Comments on: A New Paradigm

By: Sara@My Sippy Cup Runneth Over

Sara@My Sippy Cup Runneth Over — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 12:07:31 +0000

I ran across your blog this morning after having the painful discussion of wanting “out” of this marriage. The fact is I know I’ll hurt the way you do and I DON’T want it to be like this. I love him and the kids.

I don’t have any wise advice for you, but know that sometimes it’s just plain hard and healing must take over.

By: Vered - MomGrind

Vered - MomGrind — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:08:53 +0000

“I miss my truest of true loves.”

This is the most beautiful sentence I have read today.

My heart goes out to you, and I won’t even tell you “you’ll adjust” because that would be silly and patronizing.

By: 21st Century Dad

21st Century Dad — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 17:44:39 +0000

Thank you all for your words of encouragement, whether it was offered publicly here or in private.

@SavvyStepmom – yes, I am rewriting my future, but I’ve never been afraid to start something over, even after pouring a lot of effort into it.

@Corina – For better and for worse, it’s been a journey full of surprises.

@Chuck – see you ’round dad-blogs.com. Thanks.

@frazierbaz – How did you know?!?!?!?! Right now, I’m just doing some guilt-free flirting.

By: fraizerbaz

fraizerbaz — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 18:28:36 +0000

Hi. This is one of the hardest things to endure. I’ve been married and divorced twice.

It takes some time (and I believe distance) to heal. If there is ever a time where you need a strong network of same-sex friends and family, now is the time. (I’m sure you know this.)

However, and take this with a grain of salt, you may want to take a significant amount of time to refrain from pursuing a new relationship. Or any kind of dating. Many people try to put salve on this wound too soon, in thinking that it’s easier to get over someone by being with someone else. I have made some of the poorest choices in men because I was in a hurry to “get on with my life” when I should have been flying solo for a while.

Not to mention, my most recent relationship deteriorated because he and I started dating just three months after his divorce. He is still in love with his ex-wife, and this of course impedes the chance of progress for any of his future relationships. (Unwilling to take any time for himself, he is currently mate-hunting once again.)

Just my two-cents. (Jeesh, I just hate unsolicited advice, don’t you?) Sorry.

By: Chuck

Chuck — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:47:22 +0000

I’m sorry to hear this. I’ve been where you are. Feel free to send me a note if you like. I’ve lived this role for more than 13 years and have hopefully gained a little insight here and there.

By: Corina

Corina — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:12:04 +0000

A change of course. Life sometimes does not hold for us what we had planned, but there are surprises still ahead for you, I feel. Write what you feel, write what you know. Trust me, you will be better for it. Good luck, my friend.

By: Savvy Stepmom

Savvy Stepmom — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:34:22 +0000

My heart breaks for you. I know what it’s like to have to re-write the future you had spent so long crafting for yourself, and it sucks. But you’ll get through it and I think you have the right kind of attitude to come out ahead. Good luck. I’ll be awaiting updates.