Photo: mrhayata

Before fatherhood, I used to look at my friend Dan and think, “oh cool. He only has to see his daughter every other weekend and on Wednesday nights.” After fatherhood, I think, “He only gets to see his daughter…”

Whatever the real numbers are, we see more single parents today. In such arrangements, the father’s role runs the gamut from total deadbeat to being as involved as possible.

Fatherhood is being redefined. Men are balancing traditional expectations and taking a more active role in parenting. This is true, even with non-resident fathers. These men have to make the most of their every-other-weekend and one night a week arrangement.

As a resident father, I enjoy the constant presence of my children, annoying teenage habits nonwithstanding. This affords me quantity and quality, but what about non-resident fathers? They too can offer the same, and some additional benefits.

According to Garret D. Evans and Kate Fogarty, non-resident fathers who are involved in their children’s lives still have a positive impact. These children:

• tend to get higher grades than those without involved fathers.
• seem to have better social skills. They can make friends more easily and handle difficult social situations better.
• tend to have fewer behavioral problems. In fact, even when not living with their children and their children’s mother, fathers who were actively involved with their children kept them from getting involved in problem behaviors as teens
• have fewer mental health problems as adults (especially true for daughters).

Fathers today recognize the benefits to their children and to themselves. This is still true for the non-resident father. He may even be more acutely aware of it due to the limited time he has with his children. He needs to make the most of every other weekend and one night a week.

Further Reading:

Dads, Be a Hero

Father Involvement After Divorce

Co-Parenting and Father Involvement

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Due to an oversight on my part, this article was not posted as scheduled on Father’s Day.  -Elliott

I’m on break, but it would be wrong if a dad blogger didn’t acknowledge Father’s Day. I have a freelance project that will take up a good part of my time this next week. I don’t want to be wrought with guilt on Thursday when I still haven’t posted. Yes, I’m on break. For real! This is worse than quitting cigarettes.

Father’s Day is a quiet day around here. I decided that instead of being treated like a king, it’s my day to reaffirm and reflect upon what it means to be a father and be the best dad I can be. Today is the day to do what you normally do, but better. Show your family why you’re the best dad ever:

• Call your own father and wish him a Happy Father’s Day.
• Say an extra “I love you” to your spouse and your children.
• Put extra special effort into a meal you prepare for your family. Save the shells ‘n’ cheese for another night.
• Help out around the house.
• Play video games and let your kids win… as if that doesn’t already happen!
• LISTEN to your children.
• Give your children one more hug.
• Laugh with your children.

I received a pleasant surprise yesterday. Chelle from It Might Be Love sent me 250 Entre Card Credits! She won Dance of Motherhood’s Dad Blog contest. Her first act of kindness was to nominate my blog. Then she upped the ante by giving me a share of her winnings. Thanks!

Here’s a shout-out to all the cool dads I’ve met in the blogosphere. I did the same thing for my favorite mom bloggers on Mother’s Day. Not all of these dads write parenting blogs, but each is written by a cool dad:

• Dad Thing
  
• From Mike
• Happy Family Matters
• Frugal Dad
• Metro Dad
• Pro Blogger
• Rice Daddies
• Steve Pavlina
• Strobist
• Surf Jedi’s Musings
• The Busy Dad Blog
• The Wisdom Journal
• TipDad

I’m on break (much of this post was composed a few weeks ago), so posts won’t come as frequently. Subscribing to my RSS feed is the best way to find out when I stop in to say hello again. You can still browse the archives. I left a hidden gem for you to find somewhere on this site.

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Happy Father’s Day!

Forgot my wallet and cell phone!

Oh wait, it’s supposed to rain? Where did I put that umbrella?!

Off to work! Probably getting off around 6.

In the mean time, look around and within the Archives. You’ll find entertainment there.

I have been experiencing things that I’m not comfortable sharing in a public forum such as this. These things are in the forefront of my mind, and it has made writing difficult. You can only write about what you’re thinking about.

My choice since day one of this blog has been to be open and transparent, while maintaining a fuzzy and invisible line. In most cases, I am withholding for the sake of others in my social sphere and not solely motivated by my own natural desire for some privacy.

Longtime readers know that I write quality content and that requires a significant investment of time. That is time that I cannot spend on higher priorities such as putting solutions in place.

I cannot responsibly spend time on activities that do not serve my family’s needs. I enjoy writing for this blog and interacting with my readers. Traffic has steadily grown since its inception. Ad revenue has not grown at the pace anticipated.

This blog has been a labor of love and inspired by love. With so much invested, it would be a shame to abandon it. Often, a blog’s breaking point comes shortly after times like these. With resources stretched thin, something has to give.

I am electing to go on a significantly reduced posting schedule instead of saying goodbye. You have to be steadfast in pursuit of your goals, but you also have to stop to smell the roses. You’ll hear from me, but not nearly as often.

This offer is subject to change. Void where prohibited by law. 21st Century Dad reserves the right to come back with quality content, a more frequent posting schedule, and do some butt-kicking of extraordinary magnitude.

Congratuations to the Detroit Red Wings – 2008 Stanley Cup Champions

2 grueling months of playoff hockey concluded last night with a thrilling 3-2 victory over the Pittsburgh Penguins. I haven’t been watching the games, but when Lord Stanley’s Cup is in the building, I am parked in front of the TV.

I have always watched in awe as these superb athletes fought the fight of their lives. These guys play an extremely physical sport while nursing injuries that have left me bed-ridden for days. Every year, I think of the adversities I have faced, and watching hockey inspires me to power through them, regardless of how beaten down I feel.

I am not Dr. Wayne Dollar Dyer or Deep-pocket Deepak Chopra, but today’s post is about personal development and triumph over adversity. As a long-time hockey fan, I have learned much about life by following this sport. As a parent, these lessons have taken on new meanings.

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