Growing up in South Florida, I had very little contact with other Asians. Being picked on for being Asian wasn’t exactly positive reinforcement. I ended up “whitewashed” as a result. I’ve encountered many people who didn’t know what to think because I didn’t fit some stereotype. The defenestration of preconceived notions happened regularly.

I’ve always been attracted to caucasian women. I never thought it was weird. It was just a matter of time before I ended up with a biracial child.

Knowing the probabilities, I still never gave much thought to the issues that interracial couples and their children face until now. After some research, I unearthed something shocking. Rob Schneider is part Filipino!

Yes, that is shocking, considering the criticism he’s received for negative portrayals of Asians and Pacific Islanders. But the real eye-opener for me was the story of Hines Ward and others like him.

I am not a fan of American football, so I knew nothing of Hines Ward. Despite this, I can assure you that my testosterone levels are high enough. For those of you who are in the same camp as I am, Hines Ward is a wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and currently one of the league’s best at that position.

Hines Ward was born to a Korean mother and an African American father in Seoul, South Korea. The family left Korea due to the prejudice and discrimination endured by people of mixed ethnicity. Ward would not escape discrimination in America either.

One Superbowl title and MVP award later, Ward and his mother made a triumphant return to his homeland. Once shunned, they were given the red carpet treatment wherever they went. Throughout his visit, he arranged “hope sharing” meetings with multiracial Korean children and championed social change. He created the Hines Ward Helping Hands Foundation to help mixed-race children like himself.

The discrimination faced by hapas was a shock to me. I don’t have regular contact with other Koreans, so I wasn’t aware of this attitude. I socialize with an eclectic crowd that embraces diversity. The unconditional love I feel for my daughter and the warm reception she has received by all who have met her is such a stark contrast to the way hapas are treated in Korea.

I was taunted and teased throughout elementary school, but it was mild compared to what Hines Ward endured. Perhaps being “whitewashed” almost makes me a hapa by proxy. Through the Hines Ward Helping Hands Foundation (where is your website, dude?!?!), Pearl S. Buck International, and our own individual efforts, I have hope that Twilli will only have anecdotal knowledge of racial intolerance.

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Twilli is developing rapidly and learning new things each day. It’s an amazing progression to experience.

Her newest trick is some cooperation on the changing table. If she’s in good spirits, she mitigates her fidgeting so I can easily undress her. Then she grabs her feet. This gives me easy access to the areas I need to address with wipes. Just as I unfasten the diaper, I always ask her, “Crapital One! What’s in Your Diaper?”

After wiping her clean, position the new diaper underneath. As soon as I pull the front flap up to her bellybutton, she throws her legs down straight.

She’s done this almost every time I’ve changed her diaper for the past week or so. I wanted to observe some more just to be sure it wasn’t just coincidental fidgeting. She’s not just fidgeting. She’s learning how to cooperate!

Can a child as young as 4 months learn conditioned responses like this? I’m sure it’s possible. Every situation and child is different. What developmental leaps have you noticed in your infants past and present?

Twilli decided to put on a nice outfit for daddy on his birthday. I captured the image above with my Nikon D80 and Sb800 flash unit.

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Reader Brian Savoie from Maryland left a comment on one of my posts about CAP. He gives a brief account of his time in CAP.

It’s natural for people within our immediate network to be among the first readers of our blogs. I went to elementary and middle school with Brian, and we went to college a few miles away from each other. A few months ago, we recently reconnected.

Brian echoed my sentiments about the leadership training, but he went on to say that learning leadership also teaches you how to support those who are leading you. 20 years later, Brian is still using the skill set he gained through CAP as an award winning writer and producer of corporate and educational videos.

In a recent conversation with Dan*, a father of a 3 year old girl, he related some of his experiences. Dan has partial custody of his child. He sees her every other weekend and one day during the week. Meanwhile, his share of childrearing costs is about 70%. His employer covers the child’s medical insurance. He earns more than the “baby mama,” but somehow, there is still something unfair about this.

Before it was time to send the girl back to her mother, he put the last diaper in the regular trash so its smell would linger. He missed her so much, he had to keep something.

*Not his real name.